PART NINE

The Animals Aren't Animals Anymore


(1)


POEMS ARISING FROM THE CONSCIOUS SUB-MIND


1st Series:  (i hear the sound of someone laughing)



1.


up past the others
up beyond the others

up past the others
up beyond the others



2.


it has the quality of water
it has the quality of air



3.



yesyesyesyes 


 yesyesyesyes



(i hear the sound of someone laughing)





Night.  Darkness.  I sit with my eyes shut.  Night.  Darkness.  I sit on the bed with my eyes shut.  Night.  Darkness.  Legs crossed, back against the wall, I sit on the bed with my eyes shut.

I look at the lights that spin and pulse behind my eyes.  I ignore the conflicts that I feel inside.  I look at the lights that spin and pulse behind my eyes.  I ignore the conflicts that I feel inside.  I listen to the sounds inside my own head.  They bend and twist inside me.  I listen to the sounds inside my own head.  They bend and twist inside me.  I am not I.  I am not I.  I am:  the spinning, pulsing lights.  I am not I.  I am not I.  I am:  the moving walls of darkness.  I am not I.  I am not I.  I am:  the bending, twisting sounds.  When the lights fly away into darkness, I follow them.  When the lights fly away into darkness, I follow them.  I follow them.  I am not I.  I follow them.  When the sounds bend and twist away from me, I follow them.  When the sounds bend and twist away from me, I follow them.  I follow them.  I am not I.  I follow them.  I follow them.

I see the flickering shadows cast by many lifetimes.  Faces known/unknown.  I see the flickering shadows cast by many lifetimes.  A withered leg, a knife, an arm falling.  I see the shadows cast by many lifetimes.  Many lifetimes.  I hear voices speaking in many tongues.  Tongues I do not understand.  I hear voices speaking in many tongues.  Tongues I do not understand.  Cries, whispers, moans.  They speak to me of many lifetimes.  Many lifetimes.  They speak to me of many lifetimes.  Many lifetimes.







POEMS ARISING FROM THE CONSCIOUS SUB-MIND


2nd Series:  (i hear an infant crying)




1.



(this is the space in which i exist)
(there is a light around my eyes)
(i cannot speak)



m, m, m, m




(i hear an infant crying)



(i cannot move)
(i turn my blind eyes to the light)
(i am inside this space)






2.



(i am trapped)


(i am haunted)


i    i   


    i    i



(i am haunted)


(i am trapped)





3.



(i am no one)





nameless           nameless





(i am nothing)





Behind my eyes there is darkness/light.  When I close my eyes there is darkness/light.  Inside my eyes there is darkness/light.  Behind my eyes there is darkness/light.  On one side of the darkness/light I dream the waking-dream.  I am lost.  On the other side of the darkness/light I dream the sleeping-dream.  I am lost.  I am not I.  I am not not-I.  I am lost.  As I voyage into the darkness/light, I am lost.  Awake-asleep, as I voyage into the darkness/light, I am lost.  I am not I.  I am not not-I.  I am lost.

I stand outside and look up into the starry sky.  Seeking acceptance I stand outside and look up into the starry sky.  In the daytime I stand and look up into the starry sky.  In the nighttime I stand and look up into the starry sky.  Seeking acceptance I know that I am lost.  Seeking acceptance I stand outside and look up into the starry sky.  Seeking acceptance I know that I am lost.

Seeking acceptance I bow my body down upon the spinning earth.  Seeking acceptance I bow my body down and rest my forehead upon the spinning earth.  Seeking acceptance I know that I am lost.  Seeking acceptance I bow my body down upon the spinning earth.  Seeking acceptance I bow my body down and rest my forehead upon the spinning earth.  Seeking acceptance I know that I am lost.  Seeking acceptance I know that I am lost.








POEMS ARISING FROM THE CONSCIOUS SUB-MIND


3rd Series:  (ka)



1.


eee jo-ooo kee



eee jo-ooo kee

(jo-ooo
 jo-ooo)





 straaa




2.


ticki-


ticki-

ticki-non
ticki-non
ticki-lee-lee
ticki-non
ticki-non
ticki-lie

two-la! 
two-ha!



 la! la!
 ha! ha!
 la! la!
 ha! ha!




3.


oooovrowooooooovrow


(ka!        ka! ka! ka!)




Watch the sky come in slowly – then walk on it.  Hard, hard.  Watch the sky come in slowly – then walk on it.  Hard, hard.  The November day is like a wall, bitter wind.  The November day is like a wall, bitter wind.  The trees are bare, their branches stick out in all directions.  Into the brittle air.  The trees are bare, their branches stick out in all directions.  Into the brittle air.  The mud thickens.  The sun smudges.  The November day is like a wall, bitter wind.  The November day is like a wall, bitter wind.  The mud thickens.  The sun smudges.  Brightness goes numb.

I crawl around my apartment like a spider.  From wall to wall.  I crawl around my apartment like a spider.  From wall to wall to wall.  I crawl around my apartment like a spider.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  Hunched up in a dusty corner, I sit staring.  In my apartment hunched up in a dusty corner, I sit staring.  Across the room at the window.  The window squared.  Across the room at the window.  The window squared.  The sky turns black.  From my dusty corner I watch the sky turn black.  The room grows dark.  Disappear walls.  The room grows dark.  Disappear walls.  I cross the room to where the sky turns black.  The sky in my room.  I cross the room to where the sky turns black.  The sky in my room.  Disappear walls.  Disappear walls.  The sky in my room.  Disappear walls.

It matters not to humankind.  It matters not to gods.  Where the stars fall I walk.  Careful, careful.  It matters not to humankind.  It matters not to gods.  Where the stars fall I walk.  Careful, careful.  Where the stars fall I walk.








POEMS ARISING FROM THE CONSCIOUS SUB-MIND


4th Series:  It



1.


Why.


(wordlessly)




2.


It moves through me.


I am It.




3.


I am 

  not-I.

I am 



(the dark is alive)




I look outside my window.  As snow begins to fall.  I look outside my window.  As snow begins fall.  The air turns white with snow.  The snow like ashes.  The air turns white with snow.  The snow like ashes.  As snow begins to fall.  As snow begins to fall.

Upon my sleeve a spider crawls.  Tiny spider.  Upon my sleeve a spider crawls.  Tiny spider.  Where did the spider come from?  The room grows dark.  Where did the spider come from?  The room grows dark.  A tiny spider dangles from my sleeve.  Hanging by a sticky thread.  A tiny spider dangles from my sleeve.  Hanging by a sticky thread.  Where is the spider going?  The room grows dark.  Where is the spider going?  The room grows dark.  When I was a boy I used to catch ants and drop them into spiderwebs.  I liked to watch the spiders dart out.  When I was a boy I used to catch ants and drop them into spiderwebs.  I liked to watch the spiders dart out.  Spiders frightened me.  Spiders frightened me.

In the darkness of the room I stand and take off all my clothes.  My cock is hard.  In the darkness of the room I stand and take off all my clothes.  My cock is hard.  Outside the snow like ashes falls.  I squat on naked haunches.  Outside the snow like ashes falls.  I squat on naked haunches.  When I was a boy I used to catch ants and drop them into spiderwebs.  I liked to watch the spiders dart out.  When I was a boy I used to catch ants and drop them into spiderwebs.  I liked to watch the spiders dart out.  Spiders frightened me.  Spiders frightened me.  The room grows dark.  As snow begins to fall.  I squat on naked haunches and close my eyes.  The room grows dark.  As snow begins to fall.  I squat on naked haunches and close my eyes.  Closing my eyes I swallow the world.  I squat on naked haunches and close my eyes.  Closing my eyes I swallow the world.  My cock is hard.  The spider is inside me.  My cock is hard.  The spider is inside me.








POEMS ARISING FROM THE CONSCIOUS SUB-MIND


5th Series:  awareness




1.



awareness


awareness          awareness

awareness


awareness          awareness

awareness


awareness          awareness

awareness


awareness          awareness




2.



(              )




3.



)              (






Night.  Darkness.  I sit with my eyes shut.  Night.  Darkness.  I sit on the bed with my eyes shut.  Night.  Darkness.  Legs crossed, back against the wall, I sit on the bed with my eyes shut.  Sitting thus, I ask for wisdom.  Sitting thus, I seek to understand.  Careful, careful.  Sitting thus, I ask for wisdom.  Sitting thus, I seek to understand.  Careful, careful.

My body fills with emptiness.  An emptiness that is alive.  My body fills with emptiness.  The emptiness is me.  My mind fills with emptiness.  An emptiness that is alive.  My mind fills with emptiness.  The emptiness is me.  My belly tightens, my breathing quickens.  I feel desire, I feel despair.  My belly tightens, my breathing quickens.  The emptiness feeds on me.  My belly tightens, my breathing quickens.  I feel terror.  I feel joy.  My belly tightens, my breathing quickens.  I feed on the emptiness.  Opening my eyes I see darkness all about me.  Opening my eyes I swallow the world.  Opening my eyes I see darkness all about me.  Opening my eyes I swallow the world.  Though I move through the darkness, the darkness is not me.  I am I (not-I).  Though the darkness moves through me, I am not the darkness.  I am I (not-I).  Though I move through the emptiness, the emptiness is not me.  I am I (not-I).  Though the emptiness moves through me, I am not the emptiness.  I am I (not-I).

I am that I am.  I am free.  I am free.  I am that I am.  I am free.  I am free.  I am that I am.  I am free.  I am free.  I am that I am.  I am free.  I am free.








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